Stuff would-be fathers must know
Taking care of the basics will save you a lot of hassle and worry.
In a previous piece, first-time dad Akshay said, “Fatherhood could be an adventure or drudgery”. Let me add, it could be a nightmare too. While you bask in the happiness and glory of a would-be father, time has started deciding things for you. Unless you get some things in order right away, the next few months will be treacherous. Some of these will hurt if you do not take care of them right away. Let us get started.
Money matters
Money tops the list. If you happen to be a personal finance geek, you should not be reading this part. However, if you are a late thinker and spends money at will, continue for your own good sake. Pregnancy brings a host of expenses, some of which are sudden and hit you under the belt.
First up, create a list of your expenses. I know what you are thinking. One more list. I could just calculate it in my brain and work it out. As much as you would want to believe it, money matters do not work like this. Your list must include all the monthly and annual expenses. Note, vacation is no more on that list. You just took it off for at least a year. All you may have is a night out or a day’s outing. Now, let us list all the expenses in order of importance.
For ease of use, divide the list into two parts – the must-haves and the nice-to-haves.
The must-haves include baby expenses as well. Allocate around 8% to 10%. These expenses include regular check-ups, over-the-counter medicines, commute, lab tests, unexpected hospitalisation, stem cell preservation, post-birth savings and mom’s clothing.
The nice-to-haves include investments, entertainment services, such as satellite television, Netflix, Spotify, and other items such as gym membership, maid services, home internet, charity, etc.
Here is a Google Doc template I have created. Customise it to your needs.
A medicare
Having medicare or a medical insurance plan is an essential part of today’s living. Medicare and insurance are usually the stuff that we ignore. They will come to bite us when we are the most vulnerable. I believe you already have a medicare plan in place. If not, I would suggest you increase your allocation for baby expenses from 8% to 20% or even 25%. See the cost of not having a medicare plan?
The cost of delivery expenses varies for different hospitals. It could be ₹40,000 at one place and ₹2 lakh and upwards at another. It also depends on if your wife is having a normal delivery or a c-section. Your plan should be to ensure coverage for the entire phase from pregnancy to delivery either through medicare or with your own savings.
The birth of a baby is not a medical emergency, so no medicare plan will provide you with the entire expense. Remember, they do not provide any coverage up to the first three years of the policy. Medicare plans usually cover pregnancy and hospital expenses between ₹60,000 to ₹1 lakh. You will have to pick up anything that comes extra. Call up your medicare service provider or simply visit their website for the details. Many employers provide basic medicare plans. Check with the service providers or check with your human resources team. They will know the details. You should put as many expenses as possible on the medicare service provider and build capacity for other expenses.
Also, enquire about the process of adding the newborn to the medicare plan. Keep the list of documents ready.
Regular check-ups and surprise health conditions
Your gynaecologist is going to be your most visited person in the coming few months, more so than your friends. Make friends with her. She will be your guide all through the good and bad moments. Regular monthly check-ups are needed to ensure that the mom and the baby are in good health and the growth is going as expected. Mom’s weight and blood pressure are checked. Scans are usually done every alternate month to know the baby’s growth. Pregnancy is divided into different trimesters and the first one is very crucial. This is also the time when the health of the baby is ascertained. Post confirmation of pregnancy, your doctor will give you a schedule of monthly visits along with a case file. She will give the next appointment date every visit. Also, do take down her mobile number. You will need it someday.
It is always good to keep work away on check-up days. Be with mom. Keeping her happy and peppy is your duty. Your doc visits may increase depending upon mom’s health. So, keep space in your daily schedule.
Some moms go through hell during the nine months. They face medical issues such as low or high blood pressure, difficulty in breathing and an increase in sugar levels. Extreme cases may need to be hospitalised. These are rare incidents and depend on a host of factors including prior medical conditions, mental health and physical status, among others.
Know which nearby maternity hospitals are serviced through your medicare provider. Be sure to select the nearest one – within 5kms preferably. Save the hospital’s number and know its location. This will always be a scramble.
Travelling for mom
If mom’s employer allows her to work from home, nothing like it. If not, this would mean that she would be travelling some distance to get to work. As the months pass, she would need to be extra careful on the mode of transport she takes. Following are the modes along with the suggested distance of travel. Note that these are suggestions based on the advice I received but do consult your doctor.
Motorbike: The first month is okay, post which it should be avoided.
Cycle rickshaws: I do not think these exist anymore but even if they do avoid. Better walk.
Autorickshaw: Okay for short distances of up to 5 km. However, make mom sit in the middle and not towards the sides.
Car: This is one of the safest modes of transport and could be used for long distances. However, long-distance travel during pregnancy should best be avoided. Also, follow the same seating mentioned for autorickshaws.
Bus: Okay for the first couple of months. Post this, it will get laborious, and the crowd will make it worse. Best avoid this.
Train: Okay to use but suggest not sitting towards the ends of the compartment as that part usually rocks a lot.
Morning nausea and late-night cravings
If you have any idea of pregnancy, you must have heard about morning nausea and how it messes up a mom’s day. As a new life begins to grow, the body undergoes many changes, and this sometimes comes as a shock though natural. For you, this will happen mostly on a day when your schedule is busy. Mom will be highly irritated by the silliest and smallest of things.
Your job is to ensure you do not make things worse by giving unnecessary advice or saying stupid things, which you may mostly do. A better way to handle this is by comforting her and providing her with any help. Sometimes she would like to be alone. Let her be.
Later-night cravings are not new to you. Remember the 2AM search in the refrigerator? Only this time, it is with your wife and the need could be as specific as a sizzling chocolate brownie with custard apple ice cream. There is no advice here. Thank your stars for Swiggy and Zomato and get on the job. Your job is to make mom happy. Got it?
Stem cell preservation
This is entirely new territory and perhaps something you may just have overheard. Let me explain.
Stem cells have the potential to develop into several different types of cells. Most importantly, they serve as repair cells, precisely why they are preserved. They are collected post birth from the umbilical cord connecting the mother with the baby. Stem cells have been known to repair many medical conditions and help the person using them lead a healthy life. There are also many cases in which the parents and even grandparents — both maternal and paternal — have benefited from this. If you are interested in carrying this forward, continue reading.
India has a few stem cell preservation providers – Cell Life, Cordlife and BioCell, the known ones. All of them provide similar services at almost the same price. They have different plans ranging from approximately ₹50,000 to ₹1 lakh. They also provide the option of every month instalment (EMI) options. The preservation period ranges from 21 years to 75 years, depending upon the plan you choose.
The process is simple and does not affect the baby or the mother in any way. Post birth, stem cells from the umbilical cord are cut into pieces and put in a medical box. A practising nurse from the stem cell preservation company does this. The cells are then treated and stored at a central facility for any future use. In case you have plans to migrate to a country, check with the service providers about the area coverage.
Make the decision of stem cell preservation in the sixth or seventh month. I would suggest you read up more about stem cell preservation, call all the service providers and get the best possible plan. Since most of them provide the same service, money, easy processing and worldwide reach are factors that should matter to you the most. Stem cell preservation is an option today’s parents have. Consult your doctor before taking a call on this.
These are best the very basics you should know about. Over the next nine months, you will learn new things. We will cover post-delivery must-know later. For now, get your house in order.
In case you have any more tips to follow, share them with us in the comments section.
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